Everything's Easier with Company

Nicole writes like a girl 

For a stretch, I was feeling a bit lost and a lot overwhelmed. I frequently worked 13 hour days, finishing one shift only to drive across town to the next. While pulling yourself up by your bootstraps to earn a little extra scratch sounds practical in theory, it still wasn't really adding up. I had the energy to earn the money, but not quite the willpower to save it. Those extra dollars turned into the cups of coffee and takeout lunches and dinners I'd buy to support my habit, and though I refused to admit it, my energy expenditure to total gains ratio had hit its limit long ago.

I always knew that the juggling would have to end at some point - indeed, that it must - but it wasn't until the right day and the right conversation that the absolute necessity of it clicked into place.

I'd recently been promoted, and decided it was time to bring some more adult style into my life - and I knew that Nicole would know exactly what to do. We made lunch out of it, and before I knew it the conversation had turned from the books we were reading to the stories in our lives that have helped to make us who we are, and the more we talked, the more it felt like a weight lifted. As we talked, we conceived of another reason to meet, and a week later photographed this workwear series together.

Throughout, I could not stop thinking about the wealth there is to be had by investing in creativity. By letting my fiscal worries scatter to the wind, I had opened up an inner sanctum in which I could begin to build wealth in my sense of community. When you are able to lay all your cards down on the table, and force yourself to turn them face-up - it is then, and only then that the sorting can begin. Boy is that sorting ever some necessary, important work, too.

When you arrive at what you are, new things can begin - and I'm ever glad for the collaborative company in which it can happen.

Enjoy the Silence

When I started cultivating this space, I always knew it was going to be something susceptible to change - and that what it is could change not just once, but many times. What I did not anticipate was how difficult it would be for me to exist in a public space in such a way that I actively draw attention to what I do, think, and participate in. 

Especially because I  began this project during a time when I did not feel particularly strong. I am an advocate for change, and my life changes often, but the time following my graduation was the most anticlimactic time I've ever experienced. The self-motivated and ambitious spirit that I possess and have come to rely on buckled and folded when the higher-education escalator dropped me on the ground floor. Right where I had expected to feel empowered by my sense of accomplishment, I found myself knee-deep in a great, sweeping mass of inertia. What I saw myself as being, and what I actually was, circled around and around, until it was all just undertow. I felt ineffective at best. 

While I won't claim that it changed my life, I picked up Susan Cain's Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking and welcomed the period of self-reflection it encouraged. In these words I found my truest self. 

For example, highly sensitive people tend to be keen observers who look before they leap. . . They feel exceptionally strong emotions - sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy and fear. Highly sensitive people also process information about their environments - both physical and emotional - unusually deeply. They tend to notice subtleties that others miss - another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly. 

The self-identification in these pages built a ledge I could hoist myself up on, and so I kept reading:

Your sweet spot is the place where you're optimally stimulated. You probably seek it out already without being aware that you're doing so. Imagine that you're lying contentedly in a hammock reading a  great novel. This is a sweet spot. But after half an hour you realize that you've read the same sentence five times; now you're under-stimulated. So you call a friend and go out for brunch - in other words, you ratchet up your stimulation level - and as you laugh and gossip over blueberry pancakes, you're back, thank goodness, inside your sweet spot. But this agreeable state lasts only until your friend - an extrovert who needs much more stimulation than you do - persuades you to accompany her to a block party, where you're now confronted by loud music and a sea of strangers. 

Imagine how much between you'll be at this sweet-spot game once you're aware of playing it. You can set up your work, your hobbies, and your social life so that you spend as much time inside your sweet spot as possible.

Oh! My sweet spot. Of course. Someone finally has a name for that stressful inner dialogue that occurs every time I have to make a decision about how to spend my precious spare time. It also explains why I always feel like I'm bracing myself every time I leave the quiet sanctuary of home behind to go be in the world. Finally, information presented in a systemic way that validates my need to make decisions in the moment based on how I feel, and what stores of quiet energy I have amassed at that time. 

I'm learning how to be present in the world in a way that is consistent with my needs, including when it comes to this space. I know, I know - have I blogged enough about that yet? But this string of posts signals to me a greater discomfort and concern about being here in a genuine way. Coming from a candid place with the smallest possible quantity of premeditation is my sweet spot. Words are about participation and connection, and every minute I spend writing is a moment I spend genuinely re-engaging with the world. 

So, with that -- I am here, and I am ready. 

The Art of Doing Austin: Co-Starring Alyssa

Naturally when your foodie friend comes to town, your first stop is happy hour at Uchiko

Tobacco Cream: chocolate sorbet, maple budino, huckleberry, scotch

"Wow, you can really taste the tobacco in this."

" . . . But um, there's no tobacco in it."

A quick stop at Cheer up Charlie's for the Texas Book Festival's Indie Book Festival

Gettin' sweet on the Velvet Elvis painting at Lala's

Doing shots with strangers and singing R. Kelly to the bar is probably the best way to make friends

Shiner (they put a bird on it)

At Mayfield Park

"There's a surprise at this park."

"Are peacocks the surprise?"

Seasoned barbacoa tacos at Chapala's

Then margaritas at Polvo's

Followed by Dr. Dog at Stubb's

Sipping a beet shrub at the downtown farmer's market on Saturday morning

An amazing 10 course meal at Odd Duck

Not pictured: 

Bread & spent grain with cultured butter

Mustard seed tator tots with smoked fish dip

Carrots roasted in hay with chevre and pistachio crumb

Goat heart salad with sesame, arugala and wild rice

Chicken fried chicken egg with mushrooms and hot sauce

Boudin grits, pickled shrimp, fried pig skin

Grilled quail, chile, orange, roasted cauliflower

Goat rolled in pasta, mole, butternut squash, mesquite

Bread pudding, malted ice cream, beer caramel

Meyer lemon mousse, beet panna cotta, lavender honey

Everything comes full circle: When Alyssa visited Austin last time, we spent a quiet night as the only patrons at The Brixton, and this guy was our bartender. A day later, an excited Alyssa exclaimed from the backseat of Nathan's car, "I KNEW it!" and eagerly pointed to Miletus' mug from the IFC show Whisker Wars. We went back to The Brixton the next day, but unfortunately he was not there.

Flash forward a couple of years, and the two of us find ourselves at an Austin Facial Hair Club sponsored event at the Mohawk, and who do we happen to run into? The man himself. I excitedly near-shoved her into him while hissing "TALK TO HIM." When we told him he was our bartender a few years back, he immediately knew we were talking about the Brixton. Even though Alyssa met many of her bearded heroes that night, this meet was my favorite of the night.

Day trippin' in San Antonio

. . . And I finally made it to the Alamo for the first time

Now, I can never forget

It's hard for me to imagine how we fit all of this into five days, especially considering all of the things we did that were NOT pictured here at all (breakfast from Tous Les Jours, Mount Bonnell, post-show drinks at the Firehouse Lounge, Kerbey Lane Cafe, drinks at the Moontower Saloon, Sunday brunch at Jack Allen's Kitchen, pizza ordered in from East Side Pies, the San Antonio Riverwalk, barbecue at Black's in Lockhart, and a movie at the Alamo Drafthouse - plus an entire hungover day on the couch watching movies and The Chappelle Show). 

There's a ton to do at any given time in Austin - there were lots of things still on our list to try that we simply didn't have time to get to, and had the weather been a tad warmer, there would have been more still. There's nothing quite like finally feeling like you know a place - and after spending seven years living in the Austin area, I feel acquainted enough to bring in my guests on the best of the magic.

Bookish Habits

 

Books read in 2014

Last summer after I graduated, my dream was to hang a hammock between the two trees in my back yard and spend the whole summer sipping refreshing beverages and lazing about reading (because guys, I love me some solitary habits). That dream was neatly shattered the day after I hung the hammock and came outside, book and drink in hand, to discover that all of the birds in the neighborhood had left their (ahem) signature on it. Solitude disrupted, I instead turned to some of the other more social and connected ways you can go about engaging with the (solitary) things you love, including reading. Here are a few of the ways I've  found:

• Starting a book club. Now be honest with me. If we were playing a word association game right now, if I threw out "book club," you would say "lame." My eyes are even rolling listening to me right now. But, for instance, say you love to cook, and you love to cook and eat with your friends - but throwing a dinner party is way too costly and time consuming. What about a cookbook club? Pick a cookbook, agree on a recipe you'd all like to try, and meet at someone's house to make that recipe while congratulating yourselves at every step with wine. Always wine.
  
  Or maybe that's not your style. In that case, think about the type of book you enjoy, and be selective about who you ask to join your book club - you want to be able to agree on the book that you'll be reading. If historical fiction is your bag, don't start a club with someone who only reads self-help books - that is, unless you're into it too, or unless you think that the two of you are both open-minded enough to have some really engaging interactions about it. New in town, or looking for like-minded folk? Check for groups at your local bookstore, or mosey on over to Meetup.com.
  
  Truly, the simplest formula is to find folks that have more than one common interest - in my book club, the largest unifying themes are whiskey, feminism (cough Susan Sontag coughcough), as well as an inherent distrust for the wearers of a certain brand of winter jacket. Specificity is key. It's also fun to come up with a cool name. Our club name's acronym keeps expanding exponentially - WWBBBDBC, in fact, as it currently stands. I would tell you what it stood for, but then I would have to kill you. 

Potluck brunch to discuss "Life After Life" by Kate Atkinson

• Stay connected to local literary hubs. There are few greater pleasures in life than seeing a really fantastic lecture or reading delivered by one of your favorite writers. Literary events can easily enough slip under the radar, so first, identify where things happen. Is is a local book store, at the local university? Is it in the next city over? Sign up for mailing lists, bookmark event calendars, and keep checking. If you still need encouragement, I just happened to scroll through the University of Texas' events calendar while writing this post, and by sheer chance and luck saw events for Zadie Smith, and that OH MY GOD DENIS JOHNSON is giving a reading on April 10. I mean, no big deal - he's only one of my literary idols. My point is, if you don't check, you'll never know what you're missing.
  
  If you're in Austin, be sure to check out Book People (I spent one memorable reading there sipping free Schlitz served in paper bags to promote the launch of a pulp serial), some of the smaller area independent bookstores like Book Woman and Monkey Wrench, and make sure you keep up with the Witliff Collections at Texas State University - they tend to host each writer first at the school, and then the same or the next day at the Katherine Anne Porter House in Kyle. Thanks to their efforts, I've been fortunate enough to catch Tim O'Brien, Louise Erdrich and Karen Russell - and if I gave it my all, this spring I could catch both Sherman Alexie and Jorie Graham as well.
  
  Also keep your eye out for the Inprint! Literary Series in Houston. I legit drove to Houston and back all in one day to see the swoon-worthy Michael Ondaatje read from The Cat's Table.

One slice of my to-read shelf

• Volunteer at local events. The Texas Book Festival comes to Austin every October, and it is a veritable feast of glory. It's held at the Texas Capitol, so you're likely to be sitting in some very venerable chambers for the panels and lectures you attend. One of my favorite panels every year is the one held by Vintage & Anchor. They typically have a couple of their authors sit down and discuss their process, what they've been reading lately, and answer questions about how to go about the business, and volunteers at the door will even hand you a tote bag with a selection of free Vintage & Anchor titles when you walk in. Pretty cool stuff.
  
  In a truly unfortunate series of events, I was signed up to be a volunteer for the Texas Book Festival in 2013 working in the author signing tent - but like the dummy I am, I had to go and take another part-time job, and it totally conflicted with my volunteer duties, so I had to relinquish them. I will never stop regretting that I missed Claire Vaye Watkins speak. The way she weaves her tumultuous origin story into her heart flummoxing shorts makes my senses weep with wonder - that, and the fact that we are close in age, places her squarely in the arena of being one of my very favorite new writers. Seriously, go read Battleborn. Now. 

From A Year of Reading the World.com

• Challenge yourself. First of all, there's no way I would ever attempt to read 196 books in one year - I'm not THAT achievement-oriented. But Ann Morgan, a writer based out of London, set out to try it, reading one book by one author from each country in the world. Oh yeah, and all in a year. Now, in order for me to accomplish that, I would have to quit my day job (thus losing the ability to purchase said books), and probably say sayonara to all of my friends (thus losing my license on PERSPECTIVE, y'all) - so you know, I probably couldn't do it at all.
  
  What I could do, though, is try a challenge of a different tack. Maybe I could challenge myself to read a book for each week of the year, and both keep track of and write at least a cursory review of each? Okay, I'm already doing that. Other ways of keeping it interesting might be to pick an author you've never read, and read everything they wrote in chronological order. Or you could find a list of essential reading that strikes a note with you, and make your way through it.

So, what do you think? Are you motivated yet? 

Breathe Easy

You know it's spring in Austin when the modest buds dotting the bare trees all over town burst into bloom overnight. It's lucky that I've felt inspired lately to spend more time outdoors, because it's high time I get moving again. You feeling it, too? Watch 23 1/2 hours and just TRY and be uninspired.  

I've decided to tackle the behemoth proposition of being an active person by doing the same thing in two different ways.

First, I am reclaiming time for myself during my work day. Instead of skipping my breaks, if I spend each break walking around the block, I'm gaining a full 30 minutes a day of walking - without even having to squeeze it into my schedule. All I have to do is get out of my chair - and, you know, not wear heels. Which I don't do anyway. So we're good. 

 If I do that every day in a workweek, for a full month, that's 10 hours of walking a month. 

Second, there isn't a day that passes where this little stinker doesn't beg me for a chance to get outside in the world to stretch her legs and sniff some stuff. Which means that the only other part of the equation is taking her for a daily walk whenever possible. 

Which, now that daylight is on our side again, is becoming a more appealing proposition by the day.   

When adding healthier habits to your arsenal of daily living, one of the most important and most difficult components to nail is longevity - which is why I've decided to ditch the weekly healthy habits idea, and instead see how much walking I can accomplish in a month. 

It certainly is a good way to become acquainted with my neighborhood, and, ahem, the neighbors. 

Today had to have been one of the most beautiful days, ever.

To think, if I hadn't been out walking the girl like I was today, I don't believe I would have been so lucky as to catch this beautiful scene. This photo doesn't come close to doing it justice. 

No evening walk is complete without having an adventure and making new friends. 

This fierce kitty - pictured here slowly easing from suspicion back into full repose - is pictured only moments after staring down the hawk that swooped down over him/her, before landing on the lawn mere feet away. Kitty was not all about that business, and after a moment, the hawk realized he'd better beat it. 

Kitty was certainly in no mood to make friends with us after staring into the face of death, but surely won a fan in Indy. 

Lastly, strolling around the block on the daily gives me plenty of time to contemplate, and be alone in my head space. Also, how difficult it is to take a photo of the sky alone (no filter, folks - just sky).

And only a few strolls deep, I can tell you this much - right now, that head space feels level, and ready for positive change. 

xo